I've spent two days (with help from Sean B. Palmer) making the following code:
#!/bin/sh
ID=$(date --iso-8601=second -u)
MONTH=$(date +%Y-%m)
echo "<div class=\"post\" id=\"$ID\">" >> body
echo "<h1>On <a href=\"#$ID\">$(date +'%B %d, %Y at %l:%M %P')...</a></h1>" >> body
markdown >> body
echo "</div>" >> body
echo "" >> body
./header > $MONTH.html
cat body >> $MONTH.html
cat footer >> $MONTH.html
Say hello to Flog. Flog (short for "fast blog") is quite possibly the most simple weblog software ever. Inspired by Sean's very own Gallimaufry of Whits, it offers a very important feature that no other blog software I've found can duplicate. Namely, I can make a post to a flog in just under 10 seconds, and I don't have to really think about anything (if I don't want to).
So hopefully, I'll be posting to this, due to it's almost insanely casual nature. Of course, like most things I've made for this website, I'll probably spend more time making this than actually using this. In short, better pray there's a second post.
Another problem with blogs is that the first few posts are quite important. The Flog solution to the problem is to write filler entries so you don't say anything really stupid in these formative posts.
This is partially to test if changes to The Code OMG will break anything, and partially to tell the world that the fact that the id attribute in HTML has to start with a letter is fucking retarded.
John Cowan, due to being really good at knowing things, has sopped up
some of the suck that the flog software has. Everyone, please give a round of
applause for Flog 1.1:
#!/bin/sh
trap 'rm -f /tmp/flog$$' 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
ID=$(date +t%s)
MONTH=$(date +%Y-%m)
echo "<div class=\"post\" id=\"$ID\">" >> body
echo "<h1>On <a href=\"#$ID\">$(date +'%B %d, %Y at %l:%M %P')...</a></h1>" >> body
nano /tmp/flog$$; markdown </tmp/flog$$ >> body
echo "</div>" >> body
echo "" >> body
./header > $MONTH.html
cat body >> $MONTH.html
cat footer >> $MONTH.html
This version launches nano, so you can larger posts without wanting to kill
yourself. As usual with things John does, I don't understand anything of what's
going on. But it works very well, so it's all good. To thank Sir Cowan, I'm
going to put this copyrighted code under licence. Mainly the "All Rights
Reserved" license, meaning now that you've looked at my program I can now sue
you for millions.
So thanks for breaking the law for me! I'll see you in court. >:(
Editing things in flog after the fact is hard, because I gotta not only change the 'body' file, but also the generated html file. And if you are also editing the flog software itself, you have 3 files to edit. But that's all OK, since I apparently love tedious things. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to count the number of rice grains in this 5 pound bag.
The Flog now has it's very own CSS file. It's not a mega-designer wankoff like
what I should be making, instead I chose something much more simple that uses
mega-designer wankoff ideas, like "highlighting the content with use of
whitespace" and "easing readability by forcing content into narrow columns" and
"spending more time fetching a glass of wine than actually designing." So now
we have something readable and pretty, which is way better than the unstyled
peice of trash that the Flog once was. Also:
My friend picked me up to accompany him with christmas shopping, and we stopped
to get coffee. On the way to the store I whined that with the bumpy ride "This is gonna bukkake all over me". He curtly replied, "Then sit up straight and put it between your legs."
I didn't really wanna explain to him why I was giggling the rest of the way there.
kerian: oh god the gun store had the exact rifle i was looking for in killer condition
d8uv: Hell yeah
kerian: i have to convinse my family :/ i want that thing so bad
d8uv: Oh yeah that's right
d8uv: You might have hippy parents
kerian: this one
d8uv: Just say "I won't get the ammo for it so it'll just be an expensive club"
kerian: it comes with ammo :V
kerian: but yeah i want that soo bad
kerian: i hear it kicks like a mule kicking another mule
d8uv: "I want my gun to rape me."
kerian: watching v for vendetta in this hizzy
d8uv: Hell yeah
kerian: first time ive connected the laptop to the tv
kerian: works rad
d8uv: I want to do thayt
kerian: svideo out works well
d8uv: Specifically, I wanna get a HD set and burn-in a picture of Goatse on it
d8uv: So I have a HD set for me, and an HD set for everyone else >:(
d8uv: Also I love Flog
kerian: why didnt you use DBSs source
kerian: >:(
d8uv: Because I hate both it and you >:(
kerian: ;_;
kerian: gunz
kerian: i got the rifle
d8uv: You got gun?
d8uv: Yay!
kerian: its a commie gun
d8uv: Now go shoot your hippy dad with it.
kerian: no i think i will shoot mmm
kerian: elmo
d8uv: This is the american way
d8uv: Shooting a Red with a Red Gun
d8uv: This is truely what the founding fathers intended
kerian: i know
kerian: fuck that emlo
d8uv: You sir are a complete patriot
kerian: now you get a rifle
kerian: and we can teleconference at the range
d8uv looks at desk, sees organic candy and an Odwalla drink
d8uv: Um, I think I am disqualified from anything manly now
kerian: and im not?
kerian: also enlarge your inner commie with a russian rifle
d8uv: Take your commie rifle, your japanese truck, and your chinese laptop AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF AMERICA
kerian: its made in japan thanks
kerian: i like it because i play a supporting role
d8uv: http://d8uv.org/flog/2006-12#t1166318776
d8uv: I like it because we are funny
kerian: that is a god damn lie
kerian: you are funny im :V hay guys, internet
d8uv: But I thought the internet was funny?
kerian: oh its humorous sometimes but is otherwise usefull yet horrible
d8uv: Oh wow you really are the internet
kerian: offtopic: my hands smell like russia now :(
Perhaps I should explain my lamentation.
It's hard to explain, because the whole point I'm trying to make is that the
title is not truly part of the hierarchy. The title is, in fact, above the
hierarchy. And since headings are reserved for hierarchy, the title shouldn't
show up there.
For example, let's say I hypothetically made an article called "On Wangs".
Inside of this I mention the different kinds of wangs there are, how life is
like for the average wang, and the subtle difference between wangs and dongs.
In this case, the outline would look like:
"ON WANGS" by Cody Woodard
- The different varieties of wang
- The short and stocky
- The Long and Lean
- The massive, otherwise known as "The Cody"
- A day in the life of the average wang
- 10:18, Wake up
- 10:20, *censored*
- 1:11, *censored*
- 6:23, *censored*
- 6:32, Urination Duty
- 11:23, *censored*
- Dongs vs. Wangs
- Dongs are more dongly
- Wangs have the propensity to wang a lot
In this case, we have 3 H1s, and and a number of H2s. All this hierarchy is
implicitly subordinate to the title. It's obvious to everyone that "The
Cody" is a part of "Types of Wangs", which is a section of an article called
"On Wangs".
So why not give the title an H1 like what the rest of creation does? It's
mostly because I hate redundancy in these kinds of things. The title is already
the implicit root of the whole hierarchy, so stating that it's the root of the
whole heirarchy explicitly just smacks to me of redundancy. Which I hate.
So, what do you do with the title in the document itself? I mean, you could
style the <title> element, but that doesn't work very well. What I instead
would do is wrap it up in a <span class="title"> at the top of the document,
so you can get the "big letters before the content" feeling without adding
redundant headings.
[Ed: sbp posted a
rebuttal that, although makes perfect sense and shows how I'm moronically
wrong in every way, still feels wrong to me.]
I had to work very hard in my last post not to mention how the heading are set up here at the Flog. I'm trying to cut down on the number of self-referential posts.
Ok I fixed typos in the more "important" posts. I'm thinking of stealing yet another bit from whits for the important entries, but that's just way too much theft!
Can you hear that? The low rumbling noise? That's Vishnu coming to collect our
heads before we piss off Shiva too much. This is like a game of chicken. The
only difference is, the winner is who gets the last word in before we cause the
world to end in an apocalypse.
Thanks to the excellence that is Sean B. Palmer, you can now read The
Flog in some kind of... RSS web 2.0 blogosphere ajax thing. I'd post the source, but...
Also, sbp has raised the stakes yet
again. So far, Whits has
mentioned The Flog mentioning Whits mentioning The Flog mentioning Whits
mentioning The Flog on the Whits. Whits, in it's stupid little way, has
predicted that The Flog will mention Whits mentioning The Flog mentioning Whits
mentioning The Flog mentioning Whits mentioning The Flog on the The Flog. This
brings us to a quandary (which is easier to spell than "dilemma"). Whether to
to prove sbp right in his prediction, making him predict successfully causing
him to make a successful score, or to deny him that prediction, thereby making
me lose at trying to obliterate the universe. Well played, Whits. You forgot
one thing though. This is The Flog.
I will not only mention Whits mentioning The Flog mentioning Whits
mentioning The Flog mentioning Whits mentioning The Flog on the Whits, but I
will predict that Whits will not only mention The Flog mentioning Whits
mentioning The Flog mentioning Whits mentioning The Flog mentioning Whits
mentioning The Flog on the The Flog, but I will also predict that Whits will
gloat over predicting that The Flog mentioned Whits mentioning The Flog
mentioning Whits mentioning The Flog mentioning Whits mentioning The Flog on
the The Flog.
I hope you've got a spoon ready, because you've just been served a big bowl of owned.
After a month, 2 teeth, and countless gobs of money, I think I have solved the Cola Wars.
Coke is better than Pepsi when you are eating something.
Pepsi is too sweet to accompany food, you want something with a little more bite. Something that can stand it's own, but fades nicely into the food.
Pepsi is better than Coke as a straight beverage.
But when you are drinking for thirst, Coke just tastes acrid compared to the alternatives. Also, I'm not sure "Acrid" is even a word.
Dr Pepper is probably better than both
Dr Pepper can't play in the Cola Wars, sadly, because it's... well... Dr Pepper.
I came up with an idea to make Flog 2.0. Basically right now, when you make a
post, you...
Man I made this weblog to write about anything I wanted, but so far all I've
made are posts about the Flog, and some posts that link to Whits. This is
really sad, and I need to write about something else.
But since I can write about anything, I'll write a post about the Flog.
... Anyways, you open up a script, it writes basic information to a file called
"body". Then it brings up nano. You type in text, quit nano, and it
markdownises what you typed, which is then added to "body". Then the
monthly post is generated from joining together "header", "body", and "footer".
This, my friends, sucks. It sucks because the date shows when you opened the
script, it sucks because there's no good way to edit pages, it sucks because
you can't abandon posts, and it sucks because every month you need to delete
"body" and update the index page. Not to mention the script that does the feed
is Ninety Seven Lines Long.
What I'm envisioning now is the main script opens nano. If it isn't blank, the
text you made gets markdownized. Then, it goes to a new file, so it's path will
be the unixtime. I take the last 10 entries, generate a feed, and all the
entries made that month and build a monthly archive.
But this is way way too much work, so I think I'll just make zap nodes instead.
I think I'm a web 4.0 designer. This will be after web 3.0 comes along and dazzles us with too much shiny, so we return to a web 0.8 style with the lessons of web 2.0 in mind.
YOU ARE A COLLECTION OF FAGGOTS, SLURPING DICK LIKE A KID LICKS A POPSICLE (NOTE, YOU ALSO SLURP KIDS POPSICLES)
The minute after I posted it, the group channel for the airport went ballistic.
"Oh no the griefers have found it!" "I wish there were a way to punch people
over the internet" "You might wanna delete that SCUM from there".
One of my favorite games of all time. You Don't Know
Jack has made it's triumphant return to my
computer. They've gotten all web 2.0 on me, allowing me to do this:
DS Lite AC Adapter (despite needing the adapter for my original ds...) (14.99)
Bringing my grand total to over 442 dollars in cash and prizes. Assuming, of course, if my life is a gameshow, which is something I frequently suspect.
Oh, did you want something? How about more CSS tweaking, and a permanent home for the flog source code? But that's all you'll get, because my net worth is now hovering around 600 dollars.
GUBA. Robots crawl around usenet and automatically make
flash videos out of it. This is a great site, since nothing illegal ever gets
put out onto usenet.
d8uv> Also I spent last night trying to see how many people read The Flog, but quit after realizing that the answer will probably depress me
sbp> yeah. that's always a bad idea
sbp> though if it's any consolating, the number of referers I keep getting from it is remarkable
sbp> er, consolation even
jilldaw> probably from kinky people looking for beatings
sbp> yes, that would make sense
d8uv> Well the main problem is the guess I've already made is depressing enough
d8uv> So Either Way I'm Screwed
sbp> well it's at least two
sbp> (two if the author counts as a reader)
sbp> I liked your Gameshow comment
d8uv> WHAT
d8uv> I'm the only person who could have possibly gotten that joke!
sbp> not really. you go on about gameshows quite a lot
d8uv> They are my true passion
sbp> hehe
d8uv> Recently there's been a resurgence of gameshows, but they are the kind of crappy "Hey let's create a lot of drama!" kind
sbp> yeah, I wish they'd just stick to the tried and trusted format
d8uv> "Have Fun with Games, and don't you fucking dare zero-sum it"
sbp> that'd make a good Flog post. the Ingredients of a Successful Gameshow
d8uv> Well the ingredients of a good game show can be summarized by a quote by Marc Summers after watching Double Dare at like 3AM. He comforted a bunch of nervous contestants by saying something along the lines of "The worst thing you can do is make money while having fun."
d8uv> He failed, but that's just such a wonderful old-school sentiment that you only really see today on The Price is Right
The Theory of SL. (Actually, the theory of Everything, but mostly SL.)
sbp wants to know what the Grand Theory of Second Life is. What makes Second
Life so... SL-y. I was going to go with my stock answer, drama. After all,
Second Life people absolutely love drama and try to get their daily dose of the
stuff any chance they get. The problem is, this isn't what really makes the
world go around, it's just the most important part of the world.
The real thing that makes the world tick probably lies in the avatars
themselves. You see, in SL you are allowed (sorta) to make any
kind of avatar you want. Most people make idealized forms of themselves. So the
standard woman becomes supergirl, with an amazing body and the amazing need to
clothe that body in the highest of fashions, live in a mansion and go out
partying. Standard men become supermen, with an amazing body and the amazing
need to get the mansion to get the girl to get into the girl's amazing body. Or
something.
As you can see, this is pretty much normal life, but in extreme proportions.
Almost like a soap opera. Now we can see how the drama is created. Something
slights supergirl, and scorned, she starts screaming and scratching because
dammit, she needs to be treated better than that. This explains a lot of
behavior, like why they like to hang out in clubs, why they spend all their
money, why they love to play games for money. It's their ideal person, doing
what their real life creator would ideally like to be doing.
The only problem with this is, well, me. My canonical av is a
cute-yet-not-quite-bombshell girl. And yet I'm a dude, so what does this
explain about me? My av changes daily and currently is an angry pixellated
face. And yet the character of Deight Boccara remains unchanged despite all the
changes in appearance. In fact, the character of Deight Boccara is pretty much
a direct copy of "d8uv", a character I've been playing for the better part of
11 years. I am not an idealized form of myself. I do not participate in the
Drama. I don't go to clubs, and I very rarely have digital sex. And on the rare
occasion that I do, it's done purely for the humor. In fact, that's pretty the
reason behind everything d8uv/Deight does. It's all for the humor. I play it to
be funny, but most other people play it to be with their ideal selves. And if
they aren't playing it to be with their ideal selves, then it's for some
mysterious reason not explained here.
The Grand Theory behind SL is simply this: It's whatever you want it to be, and
this hold true for everyone who plays it. Which makes it a damn shame everyone
else there is a goddamned moron.
After donating $10 to wikipedia, I figured that I should join #wikipedia and announce my intentions to the editors:
d8uv> So if I donate $10 that allows me to make 10 vandalizations, right?
sean_blue> d8uv: ... not exactly
Heligola> d8uv - I'll happily revert your 10 vandalisms if you donate $10
d8uv> I was gonna write a big ol flog post about me being a self-diagnosed manic-depressive, and how I'm trying to get out of the
depressive cycle by faking manicism, but this sentence is way better at saying it
sbp> yeah, just use that sentence
